Why is it, that when we are sad depressed or mad we often turn away from the ones that are close?
But I feel also vulnerable sharing this with you as there is no disguise in poetry this time. Even tough some of us we never even met.
Thoughts of I tried so hard and got so far but in the end… - you heard this one, right? - are occupying my mind that is on a racetrack today. World speed record and the breaks went off.
But writing has this thing. Like talking I suppose, which I’m not very good at. A power that is liberating. A force of it’s own.
But why am I doing this? Of course, the writing thing basically and foremost to improve myself in the craft and to keep the creative juices flowing. It’s interesting also observing what ever pops up in this monkey mind of mine.
How do we get influenced by the thing we eat. Literally and Metaphorically. There’s a thin line between being influenced by things we won’t ever need only because it gets lingered in our mind, by advertising and the people behind that see the big green, and being creatively inspired by, let’s say reading a poem of watching a good movie.
As I’m only one week in this experiment of mine, I found myself provoked by a lot of essential questions I was never really faced with before on a deeper level. For one: Why publish that thing on this particular Website? Why not only keep it in my journal? Especially me, the ranting boy that’s always suspicious of everything coming out of Social Media. Don’t worry, I’m certainly not going into the discussion of Social Media. This one everybody has to figure out themselves on how to find a “healthy” way consuming it, if there even is one. But still here I am. Writing this little essay and probably will put it out on a Social Media link with the hope in the back of my head of evoking a conversation or even inspire someone at the best.
Then also why worry about it so much? If you don’t like it you don’t have to read it. With sending a link out to my Instagram Story I’m not forcing anyone to being interested in the things I do or write. Or am I?
But back to that beginning question of why most of us are more comfortable in spilling their guts to an anonymous audience than sharing our deepest thoughts with the ones we love. Well it seems pretty easy to answer after a little meditation on it. To me at least. While some people obviously can’t open themselves to an audience of strangers it seems like I’m quite more comfortable in throwing something at an audience which I will not have to explain myself afterwards because most likely, I’ll never see them again or didn’t even meet in the first place. Strange right? Realizing this is making me wanting to work on that.
And while I’ll be enhancing this aspect of my being, I will probably still be writing stuff and putting it out into the void that is the internet. Maybe one or two being will fly by on their flying Saucers and stop for a brief Coffee to read and reflect on those questions asked but only halfway answered.
This is the part of my writing experience which I feel like it’s all crap that I’m writing so I better press that “save & publish” button before I delete it all. At the end of the day the deal is just to write everyday, whatever comes to mind. Right?
Happy Sunday.